Rude = Expensive

I looked across the track at the small collection of gear I had packed for this advanced survival exercise. It was nearly dark and I was being patted down to ensure I had nothing other than a pocket sized survival kit on me. I glanced nervously at my eight companions as our gear was thrown into the back of a vehicle. We were handed an envelope and our instructors drove into the gathering darkness, leaving us alone. We opened the envelope and read our instructions, "You are somewhere on one of your 3 maps ... ".

In hindsight the next three days were characterised by hasty decisions and poor communication as we struggled to come to terms with our circumstances. We also lashed out at each other - verbal sparring as we vented frustration about our external circumstances on each other.

Over the 20 years I worked as a survival instructor it never ceased to amaze me how easily individuals and groups could be made to feel they were at threat. In that state, people are more reactive than normal and results definitely suffer. It's amazing how rarely people pause to consider the best course of action.

In the modern work context a sense of threat is not unusual either. Most workplaces experience some level of uncertainty. Mostly it's from circumstances beyond our direct control. One possible reaction is rudeness to the people around us. I can certainly think of more than one occasion when my conduct was not as good as it could have been.

Rudeness in itself is enough to make people feel at threat. It damages psychological safety (How safe people feel). And it doesn't have to be extreme (or deliberate) to have an impact.

• Raised voices
• Harsh words
• Intimidating body language
• Slammed doors
• Banter and sarcasm
• Side conversations and excluding people
• Disregard for people's time
• Sending emails, taking calls, checking watches while you should be listening to someone
• Not following through on things you said you would do

Over the last two decades, Christine Porath and colleagues have researched rudeness in the workplace. They clearly identify many impacts on individuals, teams and bottom line. A recent article in HBR summarises their findings and others in the field. If you want the detail you can find it at hbr.org/2017/01/how-rudeness-stops-people-from-working-together

How we treat each other is largely a choice. We can choose to be civil, even in the most demanding environments. It's one of the few things that we have direct control over which has a massive and positive impact on our team environment. It's an easy way to directly impact cohesion, trust, productivity and engagement. It also takes effort and attention.

All of us have moments where we crack or fray and resort to rudeness out of frustration. Perfect politeness is not the goal. But in situations when we accept rudeness from ourselves and others it gets worse, not better. Increasing levels of incivility become the norm of 'how things are done around here'. Looking at Porath's research, it's way too expensive on almost every measure to allow that. And it's on the rise.

Reflect on how you, your team and your business conduct themselves when some of these common stressors occur:

• Giving or receiving feedback about performance
• A new deadline, or urgent of piece of work
• A customer complaint
• The photocopier crapping out in the middle of an urgent print run
• An interruption when you are in the flow of work
• New (and probably onerous) requirements from an external regulator, customer or market
• A long day to meet a deadline
• Scope creep
• A financial loss
• Personal pressures from outside work like a puking kid, unexpected bill, or relationship problems
• Something not going to plan

Here are four things you can do to influence how cohesive and effective your team is. A single individual can influence others by paying attention to these things. It's even more effective when whole teams (or organisations) decide to remove rudeness from their environment.

1.  Aim - to treat each other well in spite of the pressures you face. Work on respect and integrity. Even when there are hard messages to deliver or receive, do it politely.  
2. Recognise - the kinds of situations that tend to push your personal buttons. What about the team? Start spotting rudeness and noticing its impact. Also recognise that different people have different levels of skill around rudeness. It's much easier to avoid if you have had lots of examples through life of people who handle adversity without getting rude. 
3. Clarify - the kinds of behaviour that you want to see, and the ones to avoid. Also the situations that may trigger rudeness. Be as specific as you can. Discuss it politely away from heated moments. Talk about what you will do when you see, experience or perpetrate rudeness. Discuss how you might raise the bar and hold each other to account. Explore where the line is between healthy banter and rudeness for your team. When people do something you consider rude, give a clear example of both the behaviour and its impact on you.
4. Apologise - when you notice something you did or said had a negative impact on others. Do it whenever you know you have crossed the line, however small the crossing might be. Accept other people's apologies with grace. Remember it is unlikely to be perfect, cut each other some slack.

4 tips for leaders under pressure

I'm kicking my year off with a bang! Next week I'm working with a diverse group of forty leaders. Together they represent State Primary Schools, Oil and Gas, Health, Environmental Services, Not-For-Profits, Human Services. There's a mix of people who founded and own their business, and others who are entrusted to lead it. Some are large, publicly listed companies and some are small. 

Together we'll be looking at Leadership Under Pressure! Regardless of sector or size, leaders are facing unprecedented levels of pressure and change. Leaders are dynamic people with a passion for getting great results. Sometimes that has an impact on their own wellbeing. Here are four tips for leaders under pressure.

Breathe - It's easy to get caught up in the rapid fire transitions between all the meetings, roles and responsibilities of the modern leader. We are not well adapted to that, but it's not an option to stop either. It all has an impact - adding stress hormones to our bodies, reducing sleep, gaining weight etc. Slow rhythmic breathing sends a clear signal to your body to switch off the stress response. Unless you are a well practiced monk, it's unlikely that you'll get through a whole day focussed on how you are breathing, so just focus on the transitions. As you are going from one thing to another pause and take 3 long slow rhythmic breaths. It will help shed the stress of what you just did and focus more effectively for your next leadership challenge. It's quick, easy and effective.

Nature - There's piles of research showing that even small amounts of time in nature rejuvenate us in all kinds of ways. Creativity, problem solving and mental clarity all improve, as do wellbeing and resilience. There's lots of other benefits too. See if you can get a small slice of nature every day. Lunch in a park, walk, meet by the riverside, sit under a tree (also a great place for a meeting) watch a flock of birds.

Clarity - A leaders role can sometimes feel like an endless repeat of the same messages. That's a good thing. Investing time making sure people understand vision, direction and expectations is rarely wasted. It's easy to get caught up in endless frenetic doing which can result in a lack of clarity. In turn that breeds confusion and inefficiency. I see so many teams doing work over because of lack of clarity. It sucks energy, motivation and resources. Make it a priority to build clarity. Even if it takes you away from your immediate task list, the result will be more progress in the long run.

Progress - For many of the things we work on, it's hard to feel a sense of progress. Take time each day to acknowledge the achievements of the team. Creating a sense of progress is a great way to inject energy and maintain motivation.

I'd love to hear from you about what sustains you under pressure.

Wishing you a 2017 filled with great leadership moments!

Stuck? Make the most of what you know.

A few weeks ago I wrote about focus. Often our focus shifts in response to what is happening around us. Requests, tasks, pressure, health, distraction, fatigue and other variables have our focus moving between hard and soft, fixated and broad. If the shifts happen without us consciously choosing them, we can end up operating with an ineffective focus. Each mode of focus is highly effective in some circumstances and ineffective in others.

Some of you wanted to know more about how to recognise and use focus more effectively.

Yesterday I was talking with a highly competent and experienced colleague. She's one of the best thinkers I know. Few people can match her for productivity. She's highly valued for her ability to analyse complex situations and find clear paths for effective action. Over the last few years she has consulted in many different industries and sizes of organisation, always adding significant value.

She'd been asked to present a case study from her experience. It was to include lessons learned and would act as a catalyst for a strategic discussion in her current organisation. It was creating a focus problem. Her focus was narrow and soft. She was scanning for specific elements (Narrow) across the full range of work she had done (Soft) to find the best single example of effective strategy. Much of the consulting work she has done has been confidential and highly specific to the business she was working with at the time. Very difficult to find an example that she could share, and that had clear lessons that could be generalised to the current context. 

A soft and relatively narrow focus is highly effective when looking for something detailed and specific. That's what my friend was using as she scanned back though her work. One of the problems of soft and narrow focus is that if you can't find what you are looking for it drifts toward hard and fixated. As frustration grows this can be further exaggerated, and an ineffective loop is created. You get more and more fixated.

When she told me about her frustration with finding something specific in her past work that was clear, relevant to the new context and didn't breach confidentiality, I saw a focus problem. I asked, "What if instead of presenting a specific case study, you presented the strategic themes that have been relevant across all the industries, companies and situations you have worked in?"

The question shifted her focus from fixated and hard to soft and broad and she was instantly able to bring her vast experience to bear. She'll no doubt rock the room with her insights and expertise.

If you're feeling stuck, notice where your focus is and ask yourself if it's time for an intentional shift.

As a leader, start paying attention to the focus of the individuals and teams around you. Develop the skill of asking questions that shift focus when people become ineffective or stuck.

Much of the work that I do in facilitation and coaching shifts focus which enables individuals and teams to use what they know to greater effect. Feel free to be in touch if I can assist you with that.

Fast, Free and Legal - Enhance your performance

It's finally started to warm up here in Western Australia. Hydration is back on the agenda!

Up until late last year I spent part of each year instructing advanced survival exercises in the Pilbara (a hot, arid region of Western Australia). It's a hot climate, and the daytime temperature often exceeded 45 deg. Celsius. 

Despite my experience in the environment it was easy to get mildly dehydrated, which can leave you feeling irritable, sluggish and finding it hard to concentrate. Interestingly, I often feel the same around 2 or 3pm on a day in the office, or delivering training. My inclination at those times is to reach for some caffeine, or a sugary snack, but it's water that my body really needs. Perhaps you can relate to that.

Almost everyone on those courses experienced some level of mild to moderate dehydration. Symptoms much like the ones I experienced can sneak up on you. By the time you feel thirsty you are already 2 - 3% dehydrated and the first thing to suffer is mental function. Our ability to make sense of data like maps, spreadsheets, and technical information and our ability to do calculations diminishes.

The most extreme example I've seen was a documentary participant on a walk in the Pilbara. She had not been drinking enough because she felt the water was making her feel nauseous (a more advanced symptom of dehydration). I reminded her about the drop in mental function we had taught her about and then asked her to multiply 2 x 4. She um-ed and ah-ed for a while and then said "I should know the answer to that, it's not hard, I just can't find it in my brain". She drank more water and recovered overnight.

Thirst is often misinterpreted as hunger, so we eat, which diverts more of the body's moisture resources to digestion and also increases the feeling of sluggishness. Some studies estimate that most of us experience 2-3% dehydration in the course of a regular working day in an office environment. Mental performance suffers because the body priorities water to digestion, kidney and liver function, hydrating your lungs, maintaining your blood flow and a host of other essential functions.

So, here's some simple tips to keep your magnificent human brain hydrated and operating at full power.

Start well - Start the day with a glass of fresh water.

Keep it Up - Aim to drink around 2 litres of fresh water per day (more if you are very active or it is hot).

Drink don't Sip - Drinking a cup full (200 - 300ml) at a time increases the effectiveness of the water in your system. You don't have to scull it, but you should drink it within 15 minutes.

Keep Track - Keep a clear one litre water bottle on your desk , so you can monitor how much you drink. Monitor input by output. If you urinate less than 4 times a day and it is dark and smelly, you need to drink more. One of caffeine's effects is that you will urinate larger quantities of clear fluid, masking this effective way to monitor hydration.

Be Proactive - Drink before you feel thirsty.

What about my coffee - Caffeine is OK but also speeds dehydration, if you drink a lot of coffee, tea, or energy drinks increase your water intake.

Pre-dinner Drinks - Drink a glass of water 15 - 20 minutes before you eat or snack.



Afternoon Pick Me Up - Try a glass or 2 of water instead of reaching for the chocolate and coffee mid afternoon. 

Enjoy!! - keep your high performance brain topped up and enjoy the energy and mental sharpness!

There are more and more studies being done about the long term health benefits of water. Conditions including Alzheimer's, Arthritis, Pneumonia and many others benefit from good hydration. On top of your improved daily mental function you will be improving your chances of long term health as well. 

To your good health!!