We need influencers!

With no staff and no budget, I was tasked with some complex and often contentious change initiatives. The only significant tool I had at my disposal was influence. My manager and I used to debate the difference between influence and manipulation. Her view was that influencing people was inherently manipulative. Despite her being a significant and successful influencer of people via her steadying hand, compelling vision, deep care for staff and customers, values based approach and cheerful disposition, she felt that influence had an undertone of deception and force.

My perspective is that influence is essential to all successful groups of humans. And regardless of our role in family, community or work, our influence makes a difference. I reckon the concept of influence gets muddied by slick sales tactics, deceptive actions designed to force people to a conclusion and more recently by the superficiality of some social media influencers.

I was delighted to see my good friend and colleague Suzanne Waldron step into this discussion exploring the nuances of influence, and an assurance that influence and manipulation are not the same thing. It reminded me instantly of those deep conversations with my old boss where we both respectfully influenced each other's perspective. I am looking forward to joining Suzanne as she unfolds her deep and rich experience in this space. I reckon the conversation will make me a better person and leader.

Worth being part of I reckon. What do you think?

#influence #leadership #makingadifference

Influencing Wel

If you need to influence someone (Or a group of someones) for a particular outcome, here are some key thoughts to consider.

• Create an environment of psychological safety where wholehearted participation is encouraged and welcomed 

• Masterfully transfer skills, if there are specific skills that need to be handed over to others

• Be open to other ways of achieving outcomes (or even alternative outcomes)

Influence is discretionary. There are many things on a daily basis that we can influence. Some of them are critical, and we should absolutely get involved. Others should be left alone. It’s a matter of judgement which is which. 

Consider these five elements when deciding to influence or not:

HOW TO CHOOSE WHETHER OR NOT TO INFLUENCE
Capacity	If you’re close to maxed out, it’s more sensible to focus on your realm of control. Nailing what you can control is influence in itself. People notice your actions. A great example of this is the mantra of the Navy Seal Commanders: “calm is contagious” Calm is something that’s within your control and has a profound influence on others.
Choice	Acknowledge that influence is a choice. You can choose to get involved or not. The old adage of “choose your battles wisely” is well-placed here. We add heaps of unnecessary stress and frustration (read: shakeability) to ourselves and others by getting involved in things that we shouldn’t. Keep your powder dry for the times and places that it is to the greatest effect.
Acceptance	Be clear that this is a game of influence. It’s unlikely that you’ll end up with exactly the outcome you want. Accept that. Lack of flexibility here is one of the ways we blur the line between control and influence.
Clear parameters	The clearer you are about the desirable outcome and acceptable limits, the more effective your influence is likely to be. Muddiness doesn’t help influence.
Tactics	Given all of the above, actively choose the best tactics for the situation and the people involved. You can influence someone in many ways. Formally or informally, heavy-handed or not, directly or indirectly.

Dunny Rolls, Dentists and Disease

COVID19, pass it on! 

And we did… this is one of the most ridiculously contagious events of modern times. Symptoms are showing up everywhere… and few of them are flu like. 

Why just yesterday I was in the local supermarket and there was not a single dunny roll to be had. Even the single ply home brand was sold out.

I rang my brother the dentist to have a whinge and got zero sympathy. Turns out that he’s got bigger things on his mind than being unwiped. In not many days, he’ll be out of medical masks. No Mask, no appointments. No appointments, no income! Supplies are critically low across Australia as people rush masks with the same intensity as dunny rolls. Experts say that wearing a mask if you are infected is a good idea, but not particularly useful for a well person trying to stay well. Given how low infection rates are, one wonders what people are using them for. Some are wearing them around their chin, nose and mouth merrily exposed, so maybe it’s all in the name of fashion.

Meanwhile a mate in London reports that China town revenue is down 50% on this time last year. People are staying away in droves. Apparently a COVID19 symptom is to be unreasonably afraid of anyone who looks Chinese! Really??? 

As a survival specialist a number of people have asked me if they should adopt a “prepper” mindset, stockpiling for a potential 14 day period of isolation at home. Here are my tips on that:

1. There’s way bigger things to worry about especially given some experts are saying this has less impact than the regular flu and is past peak infection.

2. If you do decide to “Prep” (And please don't) food and water are a way bigger priority than dunny rolls. 14 days with no food would leave little need to wipe. Dehydration can kill, and a major symptom of death is that your bum stops working along with the rest of you. Most of us would be able to get by on the non perishables and stuff we have in our fridge anyway, even if it meant eating that limp carrot.

3. Give our health professionals, supply chains and Chinese Aussies a break and adopt a business as usual approach.

4. Of course pay attention to hygiene and be alert if there are people around you with respiratory symptoms, but that makes sense anytime, not just now.

The final straw for this article was a truck carrying toilet paper that caught fire in Brisbane over night. Fire officer Justin Francis said “This is not overly common, particularly around the city areas but the main thing is no-one got hurt tonight and we've been able to save quite a lot of toilet paper.” I don’t know why the truck caught fire, but I wouldn’t be surprised to find that a couple of million Aussies intensely meditating on the need for a healthy supply of dunny rolls, led to it spontaneously combusting.

On the up side, it seems like Brisbane fireys will be right for dunny paper, at least for the foreseeable future, and I reckon if push comes to shove there will be more than 14 days of tucker in the Asian aisle at the local supermarket. 

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More from Mike

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Thriving Under Pressure

People who Thrive and Adapt fully accept and face the circumstances they are in. They recognise what they can control and what they can’t. They don’t waste energy on things they can’t change. Thrivers recognise the flow of what is happening around them and use it to their advantage. They take action, solve problems and take responsibility for the outcomes.

That realistic take on circumstances is key. It's both liberating and intimidating to fully face your situation.

Thrivers create calm and opportunity for themselves and others. They are highly effective in any circumstances they face. They are constantly seeing, shifting and doing - hunting for the most effective way forward.

How squarely do you face your circumstances? How well do you make it possible for others to do that if you are a leader?

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More from Mike

Subscribe to Mike’s weekly Unshakable Newsletter here.
Download a 1-page resource on the power of gratitude in Unshakable teams here.
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Contact Mike to discuss organisation wide Well-being and Resilience programs that create Unshakable teams:

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+61 423 193 196

Where's the Line

There’s a line between influence and manipulation. Being on the wrong side of it is dangerous. It’s like crossing the centre line into oncoming traffic. You might survive occasional crossings, but eventually you’ll crash.

It’s interesting how people respond to change. Some rapidly adapt while others resist until it’s inevitable. I wonder where you sit.

For a number of years, I was tasked with leading change in a large disability services organisation. It was one of Australia’s oldest registered charities, so there were traditions and mindsets that could be traced back over 100 years. Many staff had worked there 30 plus years. That stability led to deep corporate knowledge, but also significant reluctance to change.

My role was unusual. I had no budget and no staff. I was tasked with complex situations that most preferred to avoid. My only real tool was influence.

Influence is the process of getting someone to act and/or think the way you want them too. We influence people all the time. Partners, kids, colleagues and customers. Some cross the line between influence and manipulation.

Manipulation is influence using devious or morally questionable methods for your own advantage.

Some examples of Manipulation are:

• Implying that sex will win you favour (promotions or preferential treatment)

• Bribes, intimidation and threats

• Claiming credit for the work of others

• Pitting people against each other.

These things can be really overt and clearly over the line or much subtler. The TV reality show Survivor is built on manipulation. Everyone is clearly there to be the final winner, so they pull every piece of manipulation they can think of to win.

Examples of Positive Influence are:

• Mentoring

• Building an intentional culture and code of conduct for the workplace

• Setting targets that lift performance

• Being kind to others

• Helping others achieve results - adding value

The line between manipulation and influence is marked by intent. The more ruthlessly you police your own line, the more enduring your results will be.

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More from Mike

Subscribe to Mike’s weekly Unshakable Newsletter here.
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+61 423 193 196

Influence

One of the greatest sources of stress for people is confusing the line between control and influence. If I feel like I have some control over your actions and you behave differently to my expectations, I'll experience frustration and stress. Like a driver who rants at the drivers around them in traffic. They expect people will drive differently, and their rant will make a difference. When it doesn't, they get even more cranky. I understand, and I'm not immune, especially in merging lanes (really Perth how hard is it?) however such rants are ineffective and stressful ways to influence.

We have a choice to influence or not. One way to reduce stress is to limit the amount of people and situations you choose to influence. Pick the ones that are worthwhile and important.

Be aware that the outcome is not in your control. When we exert influence the result may be different than what we expect. Be as clear as possible about the outcome and then hold the expectation lightly for less stress.

If you choose to influence someone, choose the best tactics. Is it a casual conversation? Maybe it's better to involve someone else and influence indirectly. Should it be formal? How much force or incentive is available and what are the long term consequences of those? Is it a one off, like asking someone to move their trolley so you can get past, or one of many with someone close to you? Can you add value to them in some way? Pick the best tactics for the situation.

Next week we'll look at the difference between manipulation and influence.

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More from Mike

Subscribe to Mike’s weekly Unshakable Newsletter here.
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+61 423 193 196

What Can You control?

There’s been a theme over the last few weeks – Overwhelm. I have spoken to front line staff and CEOs, and they are all saying that the year has just kicked off but they are already feeling overloaded. Some of the threads are:

• To do lists growing faster than the ability to tick them off.

• Increased scrutiny.

• Growing pressure to justify budgets and approaches.

• Disruptive change

• People working against each other sometimes on the same team.

And more… and all coupled with fatigue and a mind that is hard to still in the whirlwind.

When psychologists study the Survivor Personality, they look for attributes that consistently show up in people who beat the odds. One attribute is they focus on what they can control and make sure they do a cracking job of that. They either ignore things outside their control or are very discerning when exerting energy on things they can’t control.

Stephen Covey mapped 3 layers:

1. Control - the things you can directly control. You take an action and there is a direct result. This ‘bucket’ is generally relatively small. How you prepare, how you work, what you say, think and do are in this bucket. Other people’s actions are generally not.

2. Influence - things you can't directly control, but can have an influence over. Other people’s actions, preparation, opinions etc. fit here.

3. Concern - things you need to pay attention to, but you have no control or influence over.

(Covey articulated it well, but the idea has been around much longer. The Stoics of Ancient Greece and Rome have this as a central theme in their philosophy of life. if you’d like to know more about this very practical philosophy read “Happy” by Derrin Brown)

How does it work? The Pilbara region of WA has just experienced a once in 30-year storm event. If you lived in the path of the storm, damaging winds, and extreme rainfall are in the circle of concern. It’s wise to pay attention, but no amount of effort or worry on your part will change the fact that the storm is coming and will arrive in its own sweet time.

Ideally, we pay attention on things in our concern bucket, but don’t exert emotional energy like worry, fear, or anger over it, because that is wearing and entirely ineffective. Sometimes this is easier said than done, but often it’s simply a matter of deciding that that’s going to be your approach. What are the current ’storms’ in your bucket of concern? Sometimes we also need to consciously remove things from this bucket, especially when overwhelmed. Reserve ‘concern’ space for things that are current and directly relevant to you. Ditch the rest.

Influence in the storm might include encouraging a neighbour to clear up a big pile of scrap in their yard that could become flying missiles when the storm hits. You can influence that, but ultimately you have no control over whether they will clean the yard.

Control is your own preparation and action leading up to and during the storm.

When I am overwhelmed I find these buckets useful as a triage tool. I work out what I can control and focus most of my effort there.

What can you control?

Next week we'll look at ways to make the circle of influence more effective.

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More from Mike

Subscribe to Mike’s weekly Unshakable Newsletter here.
Download a 1-page resource on the power of gratitude in Unshakable teams here.
Join Mike's Thrive and Adapt Workshop in Perth. $50 from each ticket will go to Australian Bushfire Relief.
Buy a copy of Mike’s book “Thrive and Adapt” here, or sign in for a complimentary PDF copy

Contact Mike to discuss organisation wide Well-being and Resilience programs that create Unshakable teams:

mike@mikehouse.com.au

+61 423 193 196

Thriving Under Pressure

People who Thrive and Adapt fully accept and face the circumstances they are in. They recognise what they can control and what they can’t. They don’t waste energy on things they can’t change. Thrivers recognise the flow of what is happening around them and use it to their advantage. They take action, solve problems and take responsibility for the outcomes.

Thrivers create calm and opportunity for themselves and others. They are highly effective in any circumstances they face. They are constantly seeing, shifting and doing - hunting for the most effective way forward.

Feeling the pressure…

Capt. Richard De Crespigny was the pilot in charge of Qantas Flight QF32 out of Singapore bound for Sydney when the Number 2 engine blew up. The damage was extensive and rendered the plane barely flyable. The workload in the cockpit was immense. De Crespigny was literally flying for his life and those of the other 364 passengers and crew aboard. It was definitely a survival situation. De Crespigny’s clear, cool-headed leadership helped the crew sort through an unprecedented situation and cockpit workload. He focused on what was working and what they could control, thereby avoiding the distraction of the many potential disasters beyond their ability to fix. They pulled off an almost miraculous landing with no loss of life.

It’s a great example of an Adaptor at work! DeCrespigny’s book “QF 32” is well worth a read and has many lessons for dealing with pressure and leadership under pressure.

You can download a summary here.

How do you adapt to pressure?

What can you control in your current circumstances?