How did it go?

We sat around a small intimate campfire deep in the desert. The end of another long day of challenging driving and epic scenery. We shared food and talked while a billion stars broke out in the growing darkness - the air so clear it felt the stars were pressing down on us as the last of the sunset faded to inky blue black. 

As we had done every day on this extended journey, we asked each other “How did today go compared to your expectations?” and then we listened to each other. Some longed for more time out of the car and exploring on foot. Others were keen to pause for longer when there was a view. Each day we refined and modified what we were doing to bring our reality closer to what people had pictured before we left. 

Those expectations we have of each other, of the experience and environment seem so obvious and tangible to us - so much so that it seems reasonable to expect that everyone around us shares them. Because they are ‘obvious’ it’s easy to charge forward and then wonder why there’s a mismatch or simmering tension. 

I’ve do the same thing with teams working purposefully on something together. “How did today go compared to your expectations? How could we do better?”. It doesn’t take long. People feel seen, heard, engaged. Shared understanding and increased effectiveness blooms. That means more progress, better decisions, less frustration and do overs. 

Because our expectations seem obvious we sometimes forget to make them visible until things are not working well. Sometimes that's far too late.

When and where would a shared conversation about expectations be useful to you?